4.29.2009

I really hate drugs. I guess I can't say that fully on account of never having tried them, but really. I mean, I don't mind when people do it occasionally, but everyday? I'm just a little miffed though. I mean, when was the last time you invited me to just chill? Like, without drugs? When was the last time you came to my house to just chill? I mean literally CHILL, not like lets-go-to-devon's-and-smoke-up-cause-her-parents-aren't-home. I mean chill. It's not that that bothers me to any great extent, but I uninvited you guys from coming over here to smoke up anymore, just to see if you would ask again to hang out. Every opportunity I get to see you now, you guys are getting high. It kindof sucks, and kindof hurts my feelings, that I suddenly am taking a back seat to weed. I think that's why I've always hated it so much. I was always shoved aside or ignored when somoene had the chance to go get blown.

I remember my parents were out of town for a night, and I called and invited you over, and the first thing you asked was if you could bring our friends and come smoke up. I guess that's cool, whatever. Exept that on that same night, another four people showed up, and someone special to me, surrounded by smoke and cigarettes, chain smoked 4 cigs. Awesome. I'm not blaming you for that, I'm just saying that it probably wouldn't have happened had there not been a damn stoner party at my house. I had fun, yeah, totally. Still though, Zackary and I were the only ones who didn't hit, and he's only not doing it because he promised me that he wouldn't do it unless I wanted to do it with him. So, to others, please stop trying to convince me that I should try it, cause from the outside looking in, it's just stupid, and pointless, and wasteful. I have better things to spend money on, and better things to spend my time doing, and if you think that weed is so much more important then your sober friends, that's cool. I'm not smoking up any time soon, and I'm not making plans with you guys until I can be NOT the only sober person there, cause really, it's not that fun when I have to be that person everytime we hang out.

rant over.
i feel a little better.

anyways.
I can't find my wallet.
anywhere.

ALL my cash, military ID, license, check card, pictures ...
ALL GONE. GOSH.
I need to find it.
I havew no gas.
I'm in a terrible mood.
my back and stomach hurts.
I want wendys.