bad omens for the new year?
I don't know what to do, or how to fix everything. I can't just sit here and say everything is okay when its not. Everything is bearing down and I'm not quite sure how to keep it all balanced. I don't know what to say, or how to say it, or what I even want to say in the first damn place.
I'm scared. I'm fragile. I feel weak.
I'm apprehensive.
By the way. I'm not mad that you told them.
I'm just let down because you spent the past two weeks
talking about how you couldn't wait, and how
excited you were and you got me hoping and waiting
for a really nice, long time with you, only to end up ...
not.
It's so hard, It's a process that's wearing me down.
I would never leave you for this, but it is taking a toll
on my nerves and my stress level. I'm frazzled.
I don't know what to do to make them happy.
Don't say it's only you either, because I know that
I am a big part of you, and I am moderately influencial,
and if I knew what to do, and you knew what to do,
they would be much happier.
Isn't the only reason they're even allowing
this to happen is because it makes you happy?
I'm afraid that if you ever showed them even the
slightest amount of stress or doubt for us,
they would jump at the chance to have you stop
focusing on what you want to do, and have you
channel that energy into what you "need" to do.
jealousy? hah.
It's so hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment